Across the Sea
by Mirari.Divinus
Summary: Post ME3-Destroy. Jane Shepard saved the galaxy, and only wishes to go across the sea to meet her beloved.
1. Chapter 1

_"I will await you across the sea..."_

She stood on the beach, her toes digging into the sand as she stared across the huge expanse of water. She took a careful advance forward letting out a soft gasp as the cold water grabbed her ankles.

She turned to look behind her at the empty desolate beach seeing the scattered seashells.

_'Mordin would have...studied those...'_ she gave a faint smiled bending down to pick up a pink spiral shell and ran her fingers along it's spines.

Lightning crackled over head causing her to look up as the water began to churn. She turned back to the water and slowly made her way in. The water's cool touch enveloped up to her waist, the spiral shell still clutched in her hand.

"I'm coming Thane...please wait for me...across the sea..." she dove into the water and began to swim.

She swam for hours, her body slicing through the crashing waves over her head.

_"I destroyed the Reapers, I saved them all...and now I'll get to be with my beloved..."_

She looked behind her, shock and pain filled her body as she saw the beach still behind her.

'No! This can't be...'

"Thane!" she screams as tears course down her cheeks into the salty abyss. "Please..."

She lays in the water letting it carrying her out. The current gently roll her back onto the shore. A slight apologetic feel to the tendrils of water as they let go of her body. She closed her eyes, her sobs quietly drifting her off to sleep.

A sound, someone's humming wakes her from her despair. She slowly rolls to her side gazing out through tear filled eyes. In the distance she see's the shape of someone coming towards her. The figure casually picking up and examining seashells tossing the ones they did not want to keep.

"Mordin?" her hoarse voice croaked.

"Ah, Shepard you awake? Very reckless diving into the water, could die," Mordin nods as a smile spreads across his familiar face.

She sputters and shakes her head, "But aren't I already dead?"

"Dead? No. Very much alive," Mordin's large eyes blink at her.

"What do...what do you mean I'm not dead?" her hands waving frantically behind her gesturing all around her.

"See for yourself," Mordin points to the sky.

She turns to see the sky melt into a pink and orange like the sunset before going opaque. She watched as it showed a chest covered in white moving steadily as it breathes. Slowly drawing back to reveal a woman hooked to machines, once bright red hair lays stringy on bright white pillows. Skin, once glowed with life, now pale and smudged with bruises wrapped in bandages. Once bright green eyes, closed with dark smudges under the long lashes.

"That...that's me," she sunk to the ground.

"Ah yes, after the crucible was activated it exploded. They found your body a few days later and rushed you to the hospital," Mordin glanced over her.

The image zooms out more, revealing a familiar turian hunched over the bed. His eyes were closed, blue colony tattoos fading on his pale gray scaled face.

"Garrus..." sadness gripping her heart.

_"There is no Shepard without Vakarian..." she told him._

_"If this goes sideways...I'll met you at the bar..." he had said as he swallowed painfully._

She reached a hand up as if to touch his face, the image quickly faded to show another. This time, Kaidan standing next to her bed, in his arms Liara sobbed quietly.

"She won't wake up...I can feel her on the other side but she..." Liara's shoulders shake as she buries her face in Kaidan's chest.

"She'll wake up, she has to..." Garrus said from his chair, his subharmonics singing loud with sorrow.

"Garrus I..." Liara moved closer to him only for him to shrug off her comforting hand to stare at Jane's sleeping body.

"I'm so sorry Garrus..." a sob choked out of her.

The screen fades blank only allowing voice to drift from it.

"Garrus you need to go home and rest, you've been here since they brought her body back," Miranda's controlled voice cracked with exhaustion and pain.

"Not until she wakes up..." Garrus said rubbing his hand across his face.

"Garrus..."

"No. I'm not leaving her behind, not again," he balled his fists into the sheets of Jane's bed.

Miranda's body slumps as she sighs, a hand going to her forehead before sliding into her stringy black hair.

"Fine..." her voice clipped as she turned to walk out.

The screen flickers showing a familiar looking drell standing by her bed, hands clasped behind his back.

'Thane? Wait...no Kolyat...?' she though curiously.

"How is she...?" Kolyat asked, dual toned voice sounding similar to his father's sending a spike of pain through her heart.

"I don't know...they say her signs are good...she's just...not waking up." Tali's voice echoed from behind him.

"How's Garrus?"

"They set him up in a room after he collapsed. The stubborn turian hasn't been taking care of himself. They had to tranquilize him so he could get some rest..."

Jane bit back a sob as the screen slowly shifted to Garrus, laying prone in a hospital bed, his scales dulled from lack of nourishment and care.

"Garrus...what are you doing to yourself..." she whispered.

As if hearing her he spoke, "Jane...please come back I need you. You promised that...there was no Vakarian without Shepard...and you're not here..." his subharmonics whispered in pain.

Garrus slowly pushes himself out of bed, his hands making quick work of the I.V.'s setting off one of the machines. His room floods with nurses as they struggle to push him back into the bed.

"No! I want to stay with her! Please!" he begged. "If I can just stay there she'll come back...she'll come back..."

Dr. Michels sighs and nods, gently pushing him back to the bed.

"Fine Garrus, we'll bring your bed next to hers. It will be a tight fit but I'm sure Dr. Chakwas won't mind."

Garrus lays back exhausted as the nurses start to push his bed out the door and across the hall to slide next to Jane's. He reaches out a hand to tangle his fingers in hers before drifting off to a drug induced sleep.

"Oh Garrus..." she whimpers, fresh tears springing into her eyes.

The screen slowly faded, returning to cloudy gray. She looked around, realizing she was alone on the beach. She stood up quickly, eyes roaming the sand seeing no footprints but her own.

She turned to look at the ocean waves, crashing and rolling against the sand. She took a step towards the water. Feeling a heavy weight settle across her body. She took another step, and another slowly sinking into the sand. She gritted her teeth as tears slid down her cheeks.

"Siha..." a voice whispers in the wind.

"Thane?!" she cried, rolling over and pushing herself up. She watches as his form appears in front of her. His lip was tilted up slightly, as he reached a hand down to help her up.

"Siha," he says again as he runs phantom hands through her hair and pulls her close. "It isn't your time yet."

"What..what do you mean it's not my time yet?" her hands grasped the smooth supple leather of his jacket.

"You are still needed..." he says gently pulling away from her. "You have to go back..."

"Thane no! I can't...I can't live without you," she cried attempting to pull him closer to her.

"You must, Siha. Always remember, I love you and I'll wait for you on the shore...across the sea," he says as he takes a step back slowly beginning to fade.

"Please no...Thane come back..." she cried reaching out towards him.

"I'm sorry Siha...I'll see you again..." he said with a sad smile as he vanished into the mists covering the beach.

She crumples to the ground, arms wrapped tightly around her waist as sobs wracked her body.

"Live..." his voice whispered into her heart.

She felt a shock go through her body as the world around her shatters like broken glass.

"What...wha...what's going on?!" she screams as she begins to plummet.

"You have to live, Siha..."


	2. Chapter 2

Lament

Liara stood over Jane's bed, her soft blue hand glowing with botic energy rested on Jane's bare arm as she attempted to meld her mind once more with the unconscious woman. Her mind wandered, it wandered to her days on Normandy SR1 with Jane. It recalled a night the two shared before they arrived at Illos. The both of them, their bodies glowing with biotic energy as they melded their minds before making love on Jane's bed.

"Oh Jane please please wake up..."

A memory pushed its way into her mind...

_Jane reached for her hand, but Liara pushed it away._

_"What do you want Jane?" Liara asked with a cold voice._

_"I want to talk about us..." Jane said, her eyes dropping in remorse._

_"Jane, listen...I'm glad you're here."_

_"What? You worried there will be terminals you need me to hack?" Jane lashed out._

_"That's not fair! You were dead!"_

_"I came back!"_

_"Yes you came back, and now you're trying to take the place of a dying man's wife. Look Jane, I'm an information broker I learn things," she paused seeing Jane's face twitch at the memory. "Look I didn't...I didn't mean it...I'm sorry..."_

_"No, forget it Liara. Its been two years, you moved on, I get it. Let's just focus on getting Feron back..."_

_Thane's arms reach around Jane's holding her briefly to his chest, large dark eyes staring at Liara with a disappointed sadness. Garrus could only give a dejected growl before shuffling out the room._

Liara stumbled back breaking the meld as the machines began to come to life filling the room with sounds as Jane's body jerked awake.

"THANE!" A hollow scream rung from Jane's body as if it only came back to utter that one name. Her hands gripped the bed sheets as her vitals came back to life erratically.

Garrus awoke with a startle upon hearing Jane's voice, "Jane!" he stumbled to her bed pinning his body against her to help her stop convulsing, "Liara! what are you doing? call somebody!"

Liara had froze in a panic but managed to regain her composure. She nodded and headed out the room to retrieve Miranda.

"Thane! Thane!" Jane's body contorted against the turian's weight.

"Come on Jane, stay with me! Please, please come back to me!" Garrus held on tight.

A few minutes passed and Jane's body stabilized. Her breathing while still heavy began to calm. The two laid embraced for but a moment but it seemed like an eternity, "G...Garrus...?"

Garrus looked up seeing Jane's tired eyes peering at him, "Oh Jane..."

Garrus slowly rose to his feet as Miranda and Liara entered the room.

She quickly scanned her body with her omni-tool, "Well Commander, it seems you've defied death yet again. You're starting to make a cat jealous with all these lives you have," Miranda gave a graceful smile, "Welcome back Commander."

Jane struggled to sit up, "Yeah...it would seem so," her fingers wisped across the bed reaching for Garrus'.

"Thane told me it wasn't my time yet...That I had to come back...because I was still needed..." her fingers tangled with Garrus' as she began to stammer, tears coursing down her cheeks.

Garrus wrapped his hands around hers and pulled her to his chest where she promptly broke into tears. Liara reached out to her but hesitantly drew back her hand.

"I'm so sorry Jane," he mumbled into her hair, his hands rubbing soothingly down her back.

Liara shook her head and bit her lip defeated before leaving the room, her heart breaking before her once again as Jane took solace in Garrus' arms. She finds Kaidan standing outside the room.

"She's...she's awake if you want to talk to her," Liara mumbled avoiding his gaze.

"Hey...are you okay, Liara?" asked Kaidan.

"I shouldn't have pushed her away when she came to me for help... She would, I would...but...now...it's too late," she pushed her body into Kaidan's arms, "I even pushed her away when Thane passed away, I was too busy...and Garrus was just there...there for her picking up the pieces. No...I'm a horrible person, I don't mean it that way...he...Garrus took care of her, making sure she ate and slept, held her when...when the nightmares got bad..." she looked up at Kaidan, her eyes covered in a haze of lamented torment. "How...how do I compete with that?"

Kaidan buried her into his chest, "...You can't," Kaidan's eyes glazed with his own sadness and loss.

He at one time believed he was in love with Jane but when she picked Liara he had stepped back. Remembering the night where he and Garrus both drank themselves to oblivion. He had always wondered what motivated the usual cool headed turian to drink too. Not realizing that he too had harbored feelings for Jane.

"Oh Goddess, I'm sorry Kaidan...I didn't mean to bring up old memories..." Liara stammered as she moved out of his arms. She wiped her tear stained cheeks and took a deep breath, "I feel so selfish...standing here crying about my broken heart when Jane finally came back from the dead. There is still so many things I have to do, resources to find and see how many of my contacts are still alive..." Liara hesitated for a moment, "Tell her...tell her I'll stay in touch..."

Before she could make another move Kaidan reached out to grab her pulling her against his chest, "Don't go..." his arms tightened around her waist as they turned to the door and watch the nurses and Miranda check Jane's vitals trying to get her to untangle herself from Garrus' protective arms. They were soon joined by Jack, Tali and Wrex all eager to make sure Jane was okay.

Miranda walked towards the group, a smile on her face and an arm stretched out towards the door. "Come in, she's fine. Her vitals look fine but...just don't over do it," Miranda moved to the side of the room, carefully checking Garrus' machines before giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Liara watched Garrus' face carefully, studying the way his eyes focused on Jane like she was his lifeline. She knew that Garrus was with her for the final push to the beam, and how vocal he had been when Jane left him behind. His heart burned brightly in his eyes, as Jane's fingers lightly traced the scars on his cheek before she turned and ran for the beam.

Her eyes slowly settled on Jane, her smile, smiling as she talked with her friends, yet still that smile could never pierce her haunting depths of her tired eyes, an empty, hollow smile..

'I'm alive...without you here by my side...Oh Thane...' Jane quietly bit her lip preventing tears from filling her eyes. She leaned back into Garrus' embrace letting out a soft yawn as she waved goodbye to Jack. Garrus lets out a soft rumbling purr that reminded her briefly of Thane's and she snuggles into his arms.

"Jane..." Garrus said quietly, a taloned hand lightly gripping her wrist. "Don't ever leave me behind again..."

She gave an empty smile, a hand reaching for his scarred cheek, "I won't."

A cough drew their attention to Miranda who had a datapad in hand.

"Jane...there is something else we need to talk about. Preferably alone..." her eyes grazed over Garrus who lets out a growl and tightens his arms around Jane's body, pulling her against his chest.

"No, Miranda just say it," Jane's fist clenched the sheets.

Miranda looked at the datapad and gave a heart filled sigh, "Commander...Jane, I am only going to state this once...you were pregnant." her face fell with disheartened look, "With...with the heavy damage you took...you lost the baby...I'm...I'm sorry."

The room fell to a loud echoing empty silence. Jane's eyes hollowed, her mouth barely being able to utter any words, "How...how many months..." her empty eyes followed the creases of the bed.

"Estimated, you were pregnant for at least three months...they want to...they want to study the fetus...to see if it would have been a hybrid...or pure human or drell."

"Heheh...yea...sure...whatever you want Miranda...I guess this is what...what Thane wanted me to live for..." Jane moved away from Garrus focusing on her hands, her empty pale hands hooked up to machines.

"J...Jane?" Garrus attempted to reach his arms around her.

"No..." she batted his hand away from him, "...get out"

"Excuse me...?" Miranda bit her lip in agony.

"Get out..." Jane's body trembled, "Get out, get out GET OUT!"

She slammed her frail hands against the bed causing the other two to step back.

"LEAVE! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUT!"

Miranda winced at the shrieking as she rubbed her elbow with a tormented look, "Please Garrus, come, let's...leave her for a moment..."

Garrus slowly rose and stumbled to Miranda letting her guide him to the door, he turned to gaze at Jane once more, broken and defeated.

****"Get out...get out...get out..."

* * *

A/N: I'm so sorry, if you need some tissues and chocolate please submit a review or PM.


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